Why I bear witness to Lebron, all the way from Scotland.

Lebron James has made me look like a right tool. I have spent real, live money on a Lebron charity wrist band, Lebron basketball shoes and a Lebron basketball jersey. Imagine the farcical nature of a little idiot rolling around Glasgow, Scotland, dressed from head to toe in Lebron garb. I’m cruising for a bruising , or at the very least, cruising for a reality check. There is a third thing it looks like I’m cruising for when I wear this gear.

To be fair , the very concept of wearing a basketball top in Scotland is so abhorrent that the only use it serves me is a constant reminder of more careful spending every time I open my cupboard and grimace at the very sight of the shirt. I could wear it when I play basketball, but unfortunately the closest I get to dribbling involves me waking up with a sticky side of my face.

So what made me spend money on the shirt”? It’s the fact I completely buy into the Lebron phenomenon. When I first learned of LJ, my basketball knowledge was at an even more infantile state than it is at present. He served as the perfect person to latch onto, the regularity of his prescence in conversation meant that Lebron was the perfect person to have a couple of nuggets of information about so I could sound knowledgeable.

The second reason arose from watching ESPN classic. The more I watched Michael Jordan, the more I wished I was around to watch it at the time. The marketing of Lebron is clearly placing Lebron as the new MJ so simply, I wanted to be part of MJ, I couldn’t, so I manifest that wish through LJ.

Thirdly, when Cleveland are watched while part of a group, there is no need to keep up a pretence of knowing about basketball. It’s just the Lebron show. I’ve learnt a couple of stock comments about Daniel Gibson to throw in but apart from that I’m a blank canvas, only open to discussing the nature of how Cleveleand hold Lebron back, or how good he looks due to the rag-tag bunch assembled around him.

Lebron, conveniently enough, has the perfect sports story. He triumphed except out of the adversity of a background of drink, drugs and guns. It is a story that is not only the perfect tale of an athlete, but also one I find I can identify with, except for the drink, guns and drugs. And the triumph.

A lot of people in Scotland hate basketball, they find it an unnecessary complication of their late night viewing of channel 5 a rude deviation from the boobs that used to be on at that time. So I often enjoy finding myself, somebody who basically enjoys the game because it’s fast and different, trying to defend the intricacies of the sport to the “lehman”. An expert like me can get frustrated by such ignorance, as I stand, the last bastion of Basketball. But a simple end to the argument is usually presented by “Dude, look up Lebron on youtube.” That shuts them up.

The final reason I love Lebron is that he’s not infallible to stupidity. The Vogue cover where he is recreating the cover of King Kong Gisele Bunchen, single handedly, pretty much, set racial relations back about 25 years. Anybody who doubts that need imagine if it was Gisele’s beau Tom Brady on the cover, and ponder whether he would be asked to pose in the same fashion. People need heroes who slip up in the public eye, where would Brett Favre be without drug addiction, where would Lance Armstrong be without a fling with an Olsen twin, where would Ray Lewis be without the whole murder thing. Exactly.

To boldly go….to NBA Europa.

 

The NBA branching out into Europe is potentially one of the most interesting developments in Sport in a long time. So far we have seen second class Soccer in the USA and second-class American Football and Basketball in Britain. We have never seen a comparative product establish itself in the market across the Atlantic. With the NBA playing four pre-season games in Europe to test the waters of an extension of the NBA into Europe, this is clearly a potentially massive change in the sporting landscape.

The MLS has constantly flirted with being big time with signings such as Pele and Beckenbauer back in the days of the Cosmos and the infamous Beckham signing with LA Galaxy. NFL Europa was as much of an indictment on the fact that a second American Football league does not work, as much as it was in any way revealing of the interest in American Football across the pond. Even the most die hard American would struggle to interest themselves in journeymen quarterbacks terrorising defences made up of a bunch of waived practice squad oddities.

Comparatively, when American first class sport has made its way across the pond such as the London NFL game, which, despite being an absolute stinker involving the Miami Dolphins was a resounding sell out. The upcoming game between the San Diego Chargers and the New Orleans Saints is apparently over subscribed by 6 times the capacity. The Celtics pre season game in London was a sell out, and Chelsea, Manchester United and even Celtic have repeatedly sparked interest when they visit the U.S.A.

This only proves that sports can cross the pond as long as they are a spectacle, and this is what is interesting about the NBA as this will not just be about NBA expansion, but also about sustainability and marketability of sport across either side of the pond.

The NBA will undoubtedly face teething problems with this venture, but they must tackle two issues: The Jet Lag issue. Scheduling for the first few years will be a complete and utter nightmare and a no win situation. The NBA will have to make sure that Jet lag etc. is taken into account so no team can cry foul about having their chances ruined by a badly timed trip to London. The smallest scheduling difficulties can amount to the biggest controversies, as was shown when Miami Dolphins were made to play at home in London despite being further away, and when the New York Giants were given an extra home game in the wake of Katrina. An independent contractor must come in to verify there is not even a hint of the circumstantial bias. Secondly, the NFL and NBA both suffer from having one comparatively weak conference, any European division, if it is to survive must go through a period of affirmative action so these new NBA teams do not suffer the same fate as many expansion NFL franchises, as they will not necessarily, initially, have the existing fan interest to act as a crutch. The fan interest must be nurtured and that will not happen through obviously weak teams.

If it happens soon, they will be doing it at the right time. The NBA is comfortable in it’s talent pool to be able to pull off the “Harlem Globetrotters effect” to ensure interest. In the beginning the international team itself may not be the attraction. Instead the novelty will be found in the fact that Lebron James, with a little nudge from the NBA marketing department, is nearing cross-media superstar status, Kobe Bryant is a household name everywhere in the world and anybody who reads about the Boston Celtics in their Sunday supplement as the NBA makes it push for popularity will find it hard not to become completely enamoured with their history and their team concept. This effect of the visiting superstar will not last forever and that is why the teams have to be quality.

This suggestion may seem as simplistic as sending Beckham to L.A. However, for immediate gravitas of the new team the NBA could do worse than to give a phone call to their old chum Michael Jordan. Having MJ as a general manager of a team in London gives instant name recognition. Everybody in the world knows MJ and that would raise spotlight. The policy may be transparent, and it is the type of cheap publicity move that would hopefully only be necessary in the first year, but for this too work, the NBA in Europe cannot begin with a standing start.

In a child like manner, the NBA has the best chance of trans-Atlantic appeal. It is remained somewhat unscathed in the old American v. European sports mudslinging. While soccer is dismissed in America as being a sport played by kids where nothing happens, and American Football is dismissed by the average Brit as being “Rugby for Jessie’s”, Basketball has remained somewhat cool. Generally people in Britain are impressed by the abilities displayed by Basketball players, as it is a unique skill. If pressed I believe many Brits would argue that Rugby players can do what American football players can do and vice-versa. Basketball is a unique and interesting skill. It is whether this skill can be sustainable beyond it being enjoyable to watch on Youtube, that is the question.

The MLS and NFL Europe was like sending a dog up to space, this is a brilliant chance to send a real human. Will the NBA survive in the gravity-less environment of Europe? If it does, it will change sport forever, the seeds are in place, NFL is testing the waters and American owners are increasingly investing in English Premier League teams. Throw in the irresistible marketing potential of Asia as shown by the Scuddamore 39 games plan, Bob Krafts China-obsession and the MLB playing pre-season in Asia and globalisation in sport could be rearing it’s head. It’s up to the NBA to take the bullet and tell us whether that head is ugly or not.

Who’s Got the More Impressive Streak?

After a couple of spectacular shots this Saturday at Bay Hill, Tiger Woods prevailed to win his 5th consecutive PGA tournament staying undefeated this season. Not to be undone, the Houston Rockets won their 22nd consecutive game with a big victory against the LA Lakers. This gives the Rockets the 2nd longest win-streak in NBA history and puts them in 1st place overall in the highly competitive Western Conference. 

 

As an avid Tiger-hater, I have to say I’m more impressed by the resurgence of T-Mac and Rafer “Skip to My Lou” Alston in Houston, but in the grand-scheme of things Tiger’s run certainly looks more impressive. 

 

This  topic is open to debate. Please chime in the comments section to rage your opinion. Do you think Tiger is overrated, or that an NBA win-streak is arbitrary do to schedule and injuries?

Team of the Week

The Mentally Ill 11

1. Chris Benoit

At goalie we need a safe pair of hands, somebody who is definitely mental. It doesn’t get much more mental than a double homicide of members of your family.

2. Ryan Tucker

A right tackle in the NFL, so will fit in well as right back in our team. Took a break from the NFL last season for undisclosed mental issues, sounds pretty mental to me.

3. Ricky Williams

The Bi-polar pot addict and former Toronto Running Back will fit in well as a surging left back.

4. Frank Bruno

Will provide physical presence in defence at centre half. Mental because he ran for Tory office (OOOOOWWW POLITICAL) and also because he was sectioned under the mental health act.

5. Erik Brown

Erik will provide some aerial prowess in defence. Former basketball star at the University of Louisville, deluded by the lack of fame after college claimed he was making a movie with Spike Lee and signing a contract with the Detroit Pistons. He wasn’t, but he did try to set fire to himself when he was inside his apartment.

6. Brett Favre

The lynchpin of the midfield famed for his ball delivery, but qualifies for the mentally ill team due to his addiction to pain pills.

7. Paul Merson

The incredibly gifted former Arsenal great struggled with alcoholism throughout his career.

8. Paul Gascoigne (c)

The man who inspired this list. Caught last week naked and drunk in a hotel, with two plastic parrots eating raw liver. This qualifies him to be the team captain.

9.Terry Bradshaw

Proven points scorer at number 9. Not only did quarterback legend Terry Bradshaw become a religious freak, not only did he star in “Failure to Launch” but he also claimed in his book that he cried for hours after every game.

10. Stan Collymore

Although Stan is now fairly successfully reinventing himself as an analyst, he was forced to go down that route thanks to a career plagued by mental illness.

11. Terrell Owens

Speed on the wing from the Cowboys Wide receiver who, despite having “25 millions reasons to be alive” allegedly attempted suicide via an overdose of prescription pain pills.

Super Sub: New mentalist, William Gallas.

The next…..

 

In an article for ESPN the magazine, Michael Jordan identified the main problem with the NBA as a lack of ability to create stars. This is due to the NBA relying to heavily on a comparison to the past. Everybody is “the next Michael Jordan or Magic Johnson” . 

 ” The only advice I can give to someone in the league now is to be original. The consumer isn’t dumb. He or she can sense things being knocked off. Originality is what lasts.”

It gets harder and harder to be original. Everybody is nostalgic when it comes to sport because looking to the past is incredibly comforting in times of crisis. Therefor it’s hard to define whether sport stars of the past devoured all the originality, or if there is any originality left.

 In soccer, the idea of star building is probably less important than in basketball. There is no all star game and no free kick contest at the Charity shield game. However, soccer often falls into the same trap.  These comparisons range from tenuous to ludicrous. This is partly due to the differing quality in leagues, players who do well in Scotland for example are immediately tarred with the brush of being “the next (random player from a better league who is far superior). Scotland then sets up all its young prospects for failure as it is impossible to live up to the high and somewhat desperate standard set for them.

 The most popular Scottish Newspaper, the Daily Record often dines out on these ludicrous claims. Headlines have called Motherwell’s Ross Wallace, “The New Kaka” while  Aiden Mcgeady is described in such lofty terms that if you compared his dribbling to that of Garrincha, you would be slapped for underestimating the young Irishman’s ability.

 One of the most popular object of the affections of comparison makers was troubled genius Paul Gascoigne. Gazza was probably the most talented footballer of his generation but threw most of his potential away thanks to his love of alcohol, curries, wife beating and Danny Baker. But still, despite all his problems, people are still desperate to find the next Gazza. Wayne Rooney has been christened “Wazza” due to his comparisons to Gascoigne, while Charlie Miller at Rangers was often dubbed the heir to Gascoigne throne. Such comparisons have left both players to try and out-do Gazza. Wazza has done this by blossoming into one of the world’s most talented footballers. Charlie Miller did this by sticking to a strict diet of vindaloo and booze. Each to their own.

 The fact of the matter is though that like most of the subject’s of these comparisons. Gazza was unique. To prove this Gascoigne today went that extra mile. Gazza was sectioned after being found “walking round the hotel with 3 plastic parrots, ordering plates of raw liver, opening the door in the nude.” Not content with his downfall being a by the numbers tale of drink and drugs, Gazza went that step further and painted his downfall with a huge dollop of astounding originality.

 Players today must find their own plastic parrots, if they are a genius, they must let it our organically. Mcgeady will not become famous doing the Zidane turn he must coin the Mcgeady shuffle. This is a warning to you Charlie Miller, if we find you in a Dundee hotel with plastic parrots eating raw liver, it won’t be big and it won’t be clever.  There is a reason why young players of today are not forming a cue to be the “next Charlie Miller”.