“Come on guys, let’s think inside the box here.”

 

Sulaiman, 76, the president of the WBC added arguments to the MMA v. Boxing argument which are as old and tired as he is. He joined the long line of people sitting precariously on an ivory tower attempting to stifle the growth of mixed martial arts.

“It’s like two animals trying to kill each other. In Mexico it has not happened and I’m fighting for that not to happen. But with the public in the United States, I don’t know. They like it very much but I criticise it. It’s not human.”

But boxing is human? How is punching somebody in the face and the ribs humane ? It would be like two cell mates in prison, one convicted for assault, and the other convicted with assault with a weapon and the one convicted with plain old assault looking down his nose at the brutality of using a weapon.

If somebody wants to inject a criticism of MMA, I would like it to be somewhat fresh. This argument is beginning to sound as mundane as “American football? It’s so slow and why do they need helmets” v. “Nothing ever happens in Soccer, who would want to watch people run about and hardly ever score”. It’s ignorant and clearly bypasses any understanding of the basic intricacies of each sport. To say UFC is like two animals killing each other would perhaps be more apt in the early development of the sport when guys like Tank Abbott were acting as if it was a bar fight not a sport. However, the sport has clearly evolved.

If MMA v. Boxing was a fight; Boxing has been world champion for years, while MMA has been fighting in dingy underground venues, but suddenly MMA has grown into a more complex and dynamic fighter ready to challenge the stalwart of combat sports. Boxing is a once great fighter, who has fallen to the demons of fame. MMA is the new dynamic fresh face on the market.

Sport stars often talk about leaving the sport in a better place than when they entered it. I am no expert on boxing but I can guarantee that those currently involved in the organisation of boxing have not left the sport in a better place since they inherited it. The people involved with boxing should start trying to fix their own sport’s problems rather than worrying about MMA. The rise in UFC can be seen as parallel with the rise of the Ultimate Fighter reality show, the reason for this is because people do not want to see a blood bath, they want to follow fighters that they have seen evolve, fighters that they understand the strengths and weaknesses of and fighters that they feel they know personally. This means that UFC has been able to create cards full of stars who interest the fans rather than just a main event.

Somebody needs to send all people involved in boxing a tape of the most recent G.S.P. v. Matt Hughes fight. If they take the time to watch it they will see an intricate game plan executed perfectly, not a thug exhibit brutality. Or watch as Mir a technician tapped out the brute power of Brock Lesnar. A fighter cannot just be heavy handed and be a success, they need to be a student of the sport who excels in a number of disciplines. They should also look at the rules of MMA and see how closely the sport is governed and the ref’s ability to stop the fight once a fighter stops defending himself.

Of course discussing silly statements like this only adds to the problem and legitimises people’s ignorance of MMA, but really, statements like this need to stop being news. Bitter legends of boxing, lend me an ear, (Evander Holyfield’s will do) and take some time to understand UFC, or at least accept it. The argument is going to blow up if Mayweather does come to MMA so it would be simply lovely if some boxing people could try and sound intelligent with some basic understanding, rather than sound like a jilted ex-boyfriend as the fans continue to support the overwhelming growth of MMA into a major sport.

Or we should all just accept that pro wrestling is too fake, MMA is too real and boxing is this happy little middle ground where nobody gets hurt, providing a perfect but yet civilised output for everybody’s brutality needs. Thanks boxing, we salute you, keep up the good work.

Bobby’s gonna get ya.

Lesnar lost. He didn’t seem all that bothered about it either. He clearly started the match strong, knowing he could dominate Mir, but gave up when word spread that Bobby Lashley was coming to MMA. Why prolong the agony when the most unstoppable force to hit MMA of all time is about to appear

For those who don’t know Bobby Lashley, he is the most charismatic and physically intimidating character of his generation. Here is why Lashley will dominate:

• He lulls opponents into a false sense of security due to the fact he speaks like a little girl who is bullied by all the other little girls for sounding too much like a little girl, then BAM!

• He is an intense human being, so intense that between leaving the NCAA and becoming a wrestler he put on 100 pounds by himself without the use of steroids. That is testament to his commitment.

• He overcame the adversity of a horrifying liver enzyme illness which god unfairly gave him as a test, not as a result of Lashley using steroids.

• He broke the Master Lock. I don’t know if you heard me so I will repeat…HE BROKE THE MASTER LOCK! (For those who have not watched wrestling for a while, the Master Lock is a full nelson) No UFC submission will be a match for him.

• Rogan often attributes slow starts in the UFC to lack of octagon experience.That is not the case with Bobby Lashley, his first title win was in an elimination chamber where he beat both TEST and The Big Show. Test, test, this is a test, a test which Bobby passed with flying colours.

• He was handpicked by Donald Trump for a match at Wrestlemania, and he didn’t even need an arduous reality television ten week interview to help him. Because when you see Bobby, you know. I am not sure what you know, but you know. This makes him better than Omarosa, Omarosa would destroy anyone in a fight. Therefore Bobby would destroy anyone in a fight. To quote Trump “We love ya Bobby.”

• He is both hard hitting and soft spoken.

• Trump repeatedly called him Lindsay in the build up to Wrestlemania. Cynics would attribute this to Trump’s appearance at Wrestlemania ranking in terms of his other business as high as “get multi-coloured post it notes next time”. It is instead merely a Freudian slip, Trump called Lashley, Lindsay. Sublimnally , all he wanted was Lashley to be a girl, so he could be the next Mrs. Trump.

• His eyes are too big for his head, giving him outstanding peripheral vision which is integral for octagon control.

• People will dismiss him as “just a wrestler” or “just a pro wrestler” what many people do not know that he had been working under a sensei since around the late 80’s. He has learned the ways of ninjutsu from Master Splinter in secret in the sewers of New York. He also gains power from a green ooze.

• He will have a strong working relationship with Dana White due to the fact Dana is already bald and cannot have his head shaven by Bobby Lashley. This was a point of hostility between Lashley and his previous employer.

We love ya Bobby.

Can Lesnar Save the UFC Heavyweight title?

It appears that Randy Couture will be gone until Dana White either allows co-ownership of Fedor or stops thinking that repeating the phrase “do you want to be a f**king fighter” has some sort of monetary value. This means a huge burden lies on the shoulders of former WWE heavyweight champion Brock Lesnar. He has to be the saviour of the worst weight class in the UFC: The Heavyweight division.

 

The Heavyweight title is suffering in a number of ways. Most importantly, there is clearly a lack of legitimacy in the title as long as Fedor is not in the UFC. Secondly, the other weight classes have been completely on fire. Then, there was so much stock put in the success of Krokop that it completely back fired once he stunk up the octagon, to a level that nobody could have imagined.  The most important factor is that without Randy Couture, there are no easily identifiable “good guys” and “bad guys”. Whether everybody likes it or not, UFC as much as it is entirely different from the “Sports Entertainment” genre, needs the entertainment aspect to its sport. . Rivalries are built up through the Ultimate Fighter reality show and the biggest fights tend to be centred round intense personal rivalries. Randy Couture was clearly an easily identifiable “good guy”, and that’s what made the title interesting, there was a compelling element to his fights and that went a long way to cementing UFC into the public psyche.

 

Brock Lesnar has survived in a climate where entertainment is the name of the game, that is what he can offer the UFC. He is the ultimate bad guy, at a landmark period for UFC where they are really beginning to establish themselves as an important sport, having a former WWE wrestler undoubtedly brings attention.  If Lesnar appears unstoppable then a compelling storyline exists: Who is going to be the first pure MMA fighter to beat the WWE wrestler with the cheek to step in the octagon.

 

However, if Lesnar loses his first fight then another storyline exists: Can the former WWE wrestler cut it in the UFC? It has been so long since he has competed in a sport. He won the 2000 NCAA championship, but that was 8 long years ago. Since then his arrogance has been the undoing of him, as seen when he tried out for the Minnesota Vikings, failed and then refused to go to NFL Europe. Lesnar envisages himself as an unstoppable machine who can dominate any sporting situation he has been put in. This resulted in him throwing a huff with the NFL and quitting, when he is put up against legitimate MMA opponents, will he do the same?

 

Lesnar has to prove himself now. But can anyone prove themselves in the tired Heavyweight division of UFC. The one blemish on the Rocky-esque story of Randy Couture is that he never fought the huge fight; nobody fought him who deserved to be in the ring with him. The UFC has a chance now to revitalise the heavyweight division if Lesnar steamrolls through. If Lesnar ground and pounds his way through the division, and UFC could persuade Randy Couture to return then the ultimate story is created. The young upstart pro wrestler is wrestling his way to the top of MMA; Randy can then come in as the defender of the values of MMA, a complete fighter with Olympic wrestling experience ready to teach him a lesson.

 

The heavyweight division is the only weight class with the potential for David v. Goliath encounters. There is a possibility for a 60 pound gulf between competitors. That is why the Couture story captured the imagination of UFC fans everywhere and beyond. The light-heavyweight class is clearly bottle-necking and a number of fighters must find the idea of coming up a class and having the opportunity to inject some dynamism into the lethargy of the heavyweights an appealing prospect. UFC must offer more incentives to that. If Griffin loses v. Rampage I doubt he would reject the opportunity to knock the heavyweight champion off his pedestal and fight for his mentor Randy Couture. While Chuck Liddell would have the opportunity to further glorify his legacy by matching the achievements of Couture against a heavyweight champion. Houston Alexander would probably get demolished but even he may think that he could be one punch away from a lot of money by cultivating his fight anyone-anywhere-anytime with a punchers chance image.

 

If they don’t have that option, they will have to resort to manufacturing rivalries through the Ultimate Fighter. Imagine the Ultimate Fighter 9: LESNAR V. SYLVIA. Where two guys with no personalities teach the new breed of heavyweights how to lie on top and grind out a victory. I smell ratings. Or Ken Shamrock could come back to the octagon for the 800^th time despite being well past his sell by date and fight Lesnar in the “battle of the MMA pro wrestlers”, with interference by a chair shot from Tank Abbot and a fast ref count.