Forget cancer and Africa…

They are sooooo cliché…

 If you are going to give money this month, give it to the poor wee soul Jeff Hardy.

So what if he had it all but blew it due to crystal meth..

 So what if he had it all but blew it because he wanted to ride motocross…

So what if he blew it all by going on roids despite the fact that the fact that being roidless in a sea of roid rage that is the DUBYA DUBYA EEE is about 50% of his appeal…

So what if he got paid handsomely but forgot to insure his house (he remembered to install a motocross rink…if that’s what they call them)….

So what if every single time he gets built up thanks to mass appeals by fans, he lets them all down by doing something mind numbingly stupid…

So what if he left his dog in a building with what was probably the burning remains of a special Jeff Hardy cigarette…

 His house burnt down, so lets send him money and clothes (presumably Jeff doesn’t use banks as the paper trail to the crystal meth dealer down the street could arouse suspicion)

Matt Hardy tells us to send any contributions to:

 If you have something to send, send it to..

Jeff Hardy c/o Matt Hardy
P.O. Box 713
Vass, NC 28394

How lovely, presumably the next time Matt gets a disgusting staph infection Jeff will be on the blog (if he hasn’t sold his computer for roids) telling us all to send him plasters.

When it rains , it pours, especially if you are an unreliable drug addict.

SEND MONEY TO JEFF HARDY!

So on the charity scale, that’s cancer well and truly replaced, what can fill the void of that old goat Africa? Hmmmm…

He won’t be bathing in paddling pools of money anymore, as the yearly schedule of John McCirrick has been sensationally cut. It’s unfair to expect a flamboyant racing tipster o wind towards old age without even the quiet dignity of a paddling pool of money to bathe in. Come on people. Have a heart.

Phase 1: They both appear on The Catherine Tate Show: Hardy McCirrick relief special.  Proceeds go to themselves. Jeff botches his lines during one of the skits and it kills Catherine Tate. MCcirrick runs around in his off-white underwear/diaper screaming that he’s not bovvered.

Phase 2: Davina Mcall presents harrowing weepy appeal video from inside Mccirricks paddling pool.

Phase 3:Lenny Henry offers to house Jeff Hardy in a Premier Inn. Jeff is so shocked by the non-big time bill that he botches signing his room service bill and stabs himself in the leg. Giving himself a staph infection. Matt Hardy blogs about knowing the pain that he’s going through.