How do you solve a problem like Ian Wright?

How do you replace the irreplaceable?

With Ian Wright stunningly withdrawing from his integral role in BBC1’s Football Punditry as head of all Shawn Wright Phillips analysis during England games, we all have to wonder what direction they will go from here? This was a massive step by Wright, a step comparable to pre-emptively dumping a girlfriend who won’t return your calls.

England games will not feel the same if we can’t get a behind the scenes view on how Shawn Wright Philips is coping with the game at hand, from the point of view of his father. BBC have two choices, they can either hire Bradley Wright-Philips to provide such groundbreaking analysis in between serving time, or BBC may see this as a time to shift focus and give dispraportional coverage to another England fringe player. Perhaps Jermaine Defoe’s father would be interested.

Wright’s legacy is a pundit will forever exist in his ability to be both biting and non-sensical, often at the very same time.

Wright hinted at racism within the BBC regarding Black presenters, but the beeb immediately pointed to Garth Crook’s “Team of the Week” feature on the website to dispel any of these claims.

Wright also claimed that he was being wasted and  wanted to do more diverse programmes, where he would be required to do something other than just “Smile and Tap”.  Many observers were shocked that BBC refused to hand him such a role after the groundbreaking success the series that made him the new Parkie, “Friday Night’s All Wright”, or of “Ian Wright’s Unfit Kids” where Ian Wright single handedly made every kid in the country fit, by telling them they were fat. In doint this Ian Wright neglected his own son, Bradley, who turned to stealing phones and cash from a nightclub to get attention from Daddy Wright.

Ian can now be found displaying his talent while hosting “Gladiators”, stepping into the daunting shoes of seasoned presenters John Fashanu and Jeremy Guscott.  Wright will be working with a strict “no smiling, no tapping” policy. Fans watching Gladiators will have somebody to relate to now that there is a loud mouth, millionaire former footballer hosting. Not like those loud mouth, millionaire, former footballers hosting match of the day. With their jackets. And their ties…get a grip BEEB. It’s all about the yoof…and what says yoof more than IAN WRIGHT WRIGHT WRIGHT.

Untill then if you are suffering Ian Wright withdrawal try and console yourself and watch some of his best work:

http://uk.youtube.com/results?search_query=ian+wright+ladbrokes&search_type=

Not one smile, not one clap. IAN WRIGHT WRIGHT WRIGHT.