Bobby’s gonna get ya.

Lesnar lost. He didn’t seem all that bothered about it either. He clearly started the match strong, knowing he could dominate Mir, but gave up when word spread that Bobby Lashley was coming to MMA. Why prolong the agony when the most unstoppable force to hit MMA of all time is about to appear

For those who don’t know Bobby Lashley, he is the most charismatic and physically intimidating character of his generation. Here is why Lashley will dominate:

• He lulls opponents into a false sense of security due to the fact he speaks like a little girl who is bullied by all the other little girls for sounding too much like a little girl, then BAM!

• He is an intense human being, so intense that between leaving the NCAA and becoming a wrestler he put on 100 pounds by himself without the use of steroids. That is testament to his commitment.

• He overcame the adversity of a horrifying liver enzyme illness which god unfairly gave him as a test, not as a result of Lashley using steroids.

• He broke the Master Lock. I don’t know if you heard me so I will repeat…HE BROKE THE MASTER LOCK! (For those who have not watched wrestling for a while, the Master Lock is a full nelson) No UFC submission will be a match for him.

• Rogan often attributes slow starts in the UFC to lack of octagon experience.That is not the case with Bobby Lashley, his first title win was in an elimination chamber where he beat both TEST and The Big Show. Test, test, this is a test, a test which Bobby passed with flying colours.

• He was handpicked by Donald Trump for a match at Wrestlemania, and he didn’t even need an arduous reality television ten week interview to help him. Because when you see Bobby, you know. I am not sure what you know, but you know. This makes him better than Omarosa, Omarosa would destroy anyone in a fight. Therefore Bobby would destroy anyone in a fight. To quote Trump “We love ya Bobby.”

• He is both hard hitting and soft spoken.

• Trump repeatedly called him Lindsay in the build up to Wrestlemania. Cynics would attribute this to Trump’s appearance at Wrestlemania ranking in terms of his other business as high as “get multi-coloured post it notes next time”. It is instead merely a Freudian slip, Trump called Lashley, Lindsay. Sublimnally , all he wanted was Lashley to be a girl, so he could be the next Mrs. Trump.

• His eyes are too big for his head, giving him outstanding peripheral vision which is integral for octagon control.

• People will dismiss him as “just a wrestler” or “just a pro wrestler” what many people do not know that he had been working under a sensei since around the late 80’s. He has learned the ways of ninjutsu from Master Splinter in secret in the sewers of New York. He also gains power from a green ooze.

• He will have a strong working relationship with Dana White due to the fact Dana is already bald and cannot have his head shaven by Bobby Lashley. This was a point of hostility between Lashley and his previous employer.

We love ya Bobby.