A Nation unites in moaning.

 

When Fabio Capello became manager of England, he surely couldn’t have imagined that not starting a player who plays in the same league as Danny Dichio and Paul Dalglish would cause such uproar. The MLS is a poor mans Championship, albeit a slightly sexier version, the season isn’t even on, Beckham himself has admitted he didn’t deserve to be playing. 100 caps should be reserved for people who revolutionise the national team, are the stalwarts of an era and make the people around him better.

Well Beckham did revolutionise the national team, he made two rules: Any great new hope of the national team must be stupidly sent off and jeopardise the chances of England advancing in the knockout stages of the world cup and any wife of a player on the national team must get a sickening amount of media coverage and numerous Hello articles. Enough has been said about WAG culture, everybody is sick of hearing about it. The problem is, that seems to be Beckham’s legacy, the man who, with his spice girl of a wife introduced wag culture and ensured this generation of England footballers followed his image. Just as everybody is sick of hearing about WAG culture, surely by now people must be sick of hearing about David Beckham the footballer. David Beckham the love rat, David Beckham the scientologist, David Beckham the model, David Beckham the star of many ITV2 documentaries, David Beckham the man with 1000 biographies, David Beckham the man who is big in Japan, Beckham the man who is able to do keep uppies….on a beach! Or just Beckham the philanthropist. Maybe these stories still have some mileage, or maybe he should just hibernate for about 15 years till Brooklyn Beckham becomes the next Calum Best (If you are American look him up, he’s the son of another famous Manchester United Footballer, George Best. In his visa, under occupation, I believe he has written “Love rat”)

The second biggest question in the eyes of the media is certainly Michael Owen. If the England team is to be spearheaded by Michael Owen then they might as well have given a debut to a big pane of glass, which would be placed casually in an offside position at the start of the game. Till Owen proves he is fit it is hard to legitimise him meriting a place in the England squad, the problem is England seems to be suffering a crisis of talent in terms of attacking options. Defoe has to prove himself at Portsmouth; Crouch has suffered from the rotation policy put in place by Rafa Benitez. Gerrard, Bent and Kitson are the only Englishmen who come close to penetrating the top ten scorers in the Premiership list. There was genuine talk at the weekend that Owen scoring shows a return to form just in time for the England game. He scored one goal, in that same game, Robert Huth scored a goal and I highly doubt Joachim Low was on the phone to Huth that evening proclaiming that he had found the answer to all of Germany’s attacking problems.

The problem is that nobody has proved themselves and earned that spot as an England striker. This is actually quite a refreshing problem for England to have. They are entering an era where the starting 11 is far from entrenched. That means the team can be moulded into the 11 that play best together, rather than the 11 with the most famous wives, most autobiographies or best nicknames. There was much talk of Reading striker Dave Kitson getting a call up to the squad, it is nice to know that he is in the managers plans, but understandable that he has not quite merited a call up yet. Players like Abonglahor and Young from West Ham and David Bentley from Blackburn show a new era for England is a definite possibility. It is a shame for Abonglahor and a shame for England that he got injured and one can only hope that this injury does not see Abonglahor lost in the shuffle (Although as a Scotsman, I definitely do hope that Abonglahor gets lost in the shuffle, eventually finding solace in his Scottish roots and answer his true calling, standing beside Gary Caldwell and Jay Mcevley as he turns out for Scotland at Hampden)

Rumours fly that Cappello prefers to play a 4-2-3-1 formation. This fits England very well as they have a wealth of talent who can perform behind the front man (Wright Phillips, Cole, Gerrard, Young, Bentley, Rooney and of course, Abonglahor). The best option up front on his own for England is most likely to be Wayne Rooney. Although many would feel that Rooney would work best attacking from behind the front man, he is the only England player who would have the strength and intelligence to hold the ball up and supply the attacking 3. He has also been occupied in this position more and more for Manchester United, and despite a relatively barren spell in terms of goals, he’s most likely the player England would have most faith in scoring.

In the rumoured team, Rooney seems to be starting up front, behind him, will be Bentley, Young and Cole, which should provide a mix of speed and creativity. Bentley has always seemed to me like a more dynamic version of David Beckham and it is promising that he is getting the start. Gerrard playing as a holding midfielder beside Hargreaves, must be extremely disappointing for Barry. Gareth Barry constantly acts as a pivotal anchor in the young Aston Villa team. A huge test for Gerrard will be how he responds to the challenge of captaining England and playing the holding role in midfield. The Michael Owen of defence, Jonothan Woodgate appreas to have been overlooked due to a pairing of Matthew Upson beside Rio Ferdinand. Wayne Bridge should get the start at left back because I am bored of seeing anything to do with that other left back (you know the one, not Nicky Shorey, the other one). Micah Richards is at risk of being over-hyped and given too much responsibility too soon, as well as the fact he is not a natural right back, but the thought of starting Wes Brown hardly fits in with the concept of a new vibrant and dynamic era for England. Although I would quite like to see Richards dropped just so I could read the man who works for the BBC write a completely unrevealing blog void of any emotion .

The blog is either written by Micah Richards and he is in a coma/a robot, written by somebody on work experience at the BBC who doesn’t want to ruffle any feathers, or it is written by Richards and the new press relations manager of Manchester City is Alastair Campbell and he sits over Richards shoulder as he types it with his fingers shaking and teeth chattering. If you don’t read his “OWN PERSONAL BLOG” on the BBC website, then do not worry, he’s had 11 caps for England now, he should be due to compile the columns and bring out a book any day now. If I was Cappello, I’d pick the goalkeeper through a game of eeny-meeny-meiny-mo and hope for the best.

The England captain debacle could be answered easily if Fabio Cappello refused to include any England player who has released an autobiography. That therefore rules out Gerrard, Owen, Rooney, Crouch, Ferdinand and Ashley Cole (and Lampard and Terry who are both injured). Next in line is probably Micah Richards actually, maybe if he became captain he could write a blog about it. “I was really happy to be England captain, it was a great feeling. I always dreamt of walking out at Wembley as England captain. I love playing for Man City and England, it’s a dream come true…..”.

The biggest change Cappello is making is culture, gone are the nicknames, gone is the ordering from the mini-bar, gone is the being a little ginger yes-man, gone are the irregular meal times. Discipline seems to be the name of the game. Team bonding is apparently going to be important in the “New” England I feel sorry for whoever is sat beside Micah Richards at the new vigilant team breakfasts. “It is a real honour to be eating those eggs, I really love eggs, but I also really love bacon, maybe I’ll have both, but maybe I shouldn’t touch the bacon because it’s unhealthy, either way I will be happy with my decision” or Ashley Cole, who according to the papers walks around with two henchmen who just close the door and throw hush money at any one he gets in a compromising position with. A lesser man would use this opportunity to make a joke about the alleged Jermaine Jenas rumours, but not I. I have learned that talking about all the England players and their personal problems only perpetrates their egos and the sickening hype machine that goes on around them. ….ahem.

But I get sucked in, again and again. Because however much these stories annoy me, and however much I enjoy getting on my high horse about English football being more about spin than what happens on the pitch. In the end, my heart skips a little beat when there is more fodder for England bashing. When the Ashley Cole story broke this week, externally I sighed and rolled my eyes, because the Scotland left back would never have an affair outside of marriage (Yes I know Gary Naismith would have to have an affair with Britney Spears, Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty simultaneously to get in the paper, but that is beside the point, I am trying to bash England here.) No Scotland player bar Barry Ferguson would bring a book out, apart from Alan Hutton who will write one in two years called “Why Ibrox is home for me” when he leaves England with his tail behind his legs for Rangers again. This has nothing to do with the fact that not one person would buy a book by the majority of Scotland players. So everybody, please make sure you continue to critique the prima donna culture and media coverage of the England national team loud and proud.

It is the fact that a rivalry between Scotland and England is engrained from such a young age. Our national anthem has been adapted to be anti-English. There is no real reason for it anymore other than an image of arrogance which is perpetuated by the media and thus the cycle continues. For the last week every newspaper in Scotland has offered a debate on the subject due to the hiring of former England captain Terry Butcher as assistant manager to George Burley for the Scotland team.

The debate goes much like this: The article is split into two pages, facing each other. Page 1 “I’m so and so, I used to play for Scotland, and I would die for the jersey and hate to see the blurring of national lines in international football. I could have never played under and Englishman.” Page 2 “Oh well I’m so and so and I am a chairman/manager/pundit and I don’t understand the underlying racism still present in football, national lines have been blurred already by the grandparent legibility rule.”(This is not the rule which allows Davie Weir to still be playing for Scotland, but instead the rule where anybody could play for Scotland provided they have a Scottish grandparent.) . This rule means Scotland often play budget English players who after years of trying to play for England , get tired and decide to turn to Scotland. So they go and see their gran who they haven’t seen in years (See I told you the English were arrogant…they don’t even visit their grans), steal her birth certificate and show it to FIFA. Easy as that, they are Scottish internationals. This causes a wave of average English players to play for Scotland and hence one of the seeds of my resentment for English footballers is revealed.

Frankly it doesn’t matter, if Terry Butcher is a good man manager that is fine. His credentials speak for themselves. Sacked from Coventry, sacked from Sunderland, gave up management for 8 years, Motherwell manager, then he left Motherwell for the hardest job in football: manager of football powerhouses Sydney FC in the A-League. He was then sacked and took up the prestigious position of coach at Partick Thistle. The pressure proved all too great so he went to Brentford where he won the league. No, he was sacked.

Ok I’ll start again. Frankly it doesn’t matter, if Terry Butcher is a good man manager that is fine. His credentials speak for themselves; he is the godfather of George Burleys children. Fair enough.

I can almost see the mind of my fellow Scots work “Yes, as long as we point out that Butcher is English now excessively, we can blame him when we have another glorious failure.” If there were lots of other people fit for the job of assistant to..GEORGE BURLEY…at Scotland then I would probably find it a lot easier to care. As it stands, the names of people who applied would probably leave Terry Butcher the only man with experience beyond 5-a-side. If we think nationalist rhetoric is the only way to drum up emotion among the Scotland players then that is what Stephen Pressley is for. It was a shame Colin Hendry proved to be such a terrible manager as he would be perfect for that role. However, I get the feeling that Hendry doesn’t work as a manager as he was always the kind of guy who let his actions do the talking. I don’t see him as a man for big speeches but instead a man who got the best out of his fellow players by showing he was willing to run head first into the goal post if the situation required it. If he did that as an assistant manager he would probably be sectioned. It’s also a shame that Tommy Burns looks to have cut his ties with the national team due to being snubbed for the position of manager again. He is caught in Scottish football limbo. Too solid to be considered just an assistant manager under…GEORGE BURLEY…but too underwhelming to be hired after so many years in the wilderness, living under the shadow of “high character” Messer’s Vogts, Smith and Mcleish.

Good news for the national team appears to be that Scotland could get the European Championships instead of Poland and Ukraine in 2012. I don’t know how I’ll cope with the knowledge that Scotland have qualified automatically rather than the overblown hype followed by a dramatic downfall that comes hand in hand with being a fan of Scottish football. This could be a real chance to show what football means in Scotland, forget all the expensive opening ceremonies, we’ll just wheel Colin Hendry out and have him run out head first into the goalpost.

In the end though, I am worried. England appears to have got their act together finally, with an incredibly savvy manager plus self doubt about England quality has creped in thanks to Steve Mclaren. . Scotland, however have raised the expectations too high with an outstanding European Championship qualifying campaign but have now appointed an underwhelming manager. Now Scotland expect, as well as England. As much as it paints me to say it, expectation is a scarier concept when it falls on the shoulders of Barry Ferguson, Davie Weir and James Mcfadden than it is with “Stevie G”, “JT” and “Wazza.”